It’s funny how despite reminders on my phone and a color coded calendar I occasionally overlook the date for school pictures or even the deadline for school fundraisers, but amazingly can recall what someone said over a decade ago.
I suppose once something gets in my heart it sticks.
Since we got married, Brandon and I have been in some type of small group at our church. Traditionally, it’s been referred to as “Sunday School,” but the same gathering has been given a more modernized term, now known as “small group.” Whatever we may choose to call it, it’s been an instrumental part of our family’s development.
Through our time in small group, people have spoke volumes into our hearts. And while the small group leaders are obviously a huge component of what has been delivered in that time, it wasn’t the small group leaders alone who always seemed to give exactly what we needed in the particular season of life, our marriage, or our family.
For instance, I remember our friends, Penny and Daniel being transparent, giving our class some humble insight into what may potentially unfold on any given Sunday morning in their home when their girls were little. Daniel shared that although there were occasional mornings in which they had to run out of the house with dishes left in the sink, it seemed to irritate Penny increasingly more on Sunday mornings– until he brought it to her attention. After which she realized it wasn’t so much the dishes that bothered her as much as it was a tool being used to steal her heart and focus away from what the Lord had in store for her in service those particular days.
This awareness seriously revolutionized our Sunday mornings. When our children were little, if they happened to be screaming and crying through the process of trying to get ready, if Brandon and I were irritated with one another, if the coffee mug lid leaked on the outfit I finally decided to wear, if we were running fifteen minutes late (or possibly even more), and yes, if there was a disaster left in the kitchen, I’d think, “This is what Daniel and Penny were talking about. This isn’t going to distract me from what I’m about to give and get today.”
And in the instance I forgot, someone else remembered. Let’s face it, sometimes we just feel like saying, and may actually go right ahead and say, “Forget it!” That’s been me. Especially in the instances of running super late. But that is when Brandon would say and does say, “No, we’re going.” I’d argue, “What’s the point? We’re only going to be there for like twenty minutes before class is over.” Brandon wouldn’t and doesn’t let up, so we load up. We may be grumbly and gripey, but we go. And we are always so glad we do. It diffuses and distracts from whatever mishap may have occurred. We grow, realizing what we would have missed out on, even if it is sheer determination that gets us there. The realization reinforces our commitment.
I’m going to share another instance in the next post of how someone contributing in small group has revolutionized the dynamic of our home. I hope you come back and receive from it. It’s all in effort to pass on to you what others have passed on to us– those thoughts which have been influential and effective for our family.
Today, let me leave with some encouragement (and maybe a little nudge) to get involved in a small group if you’re not already. Here are a few things to keep close to your heart:
1. Shop around. Okay, that may not be the best term to use, but cut me a little slack. I’ve heard some people say that some churches are clickish. Well, yes. They are. ***WHAT?!?!?!**** Did I really just say that?! I did. (❤️ and ☺️ ). Let’s change our view of it a little. “Clickish” has such a negative tone to it, but honestly, we can’t take 600 people for instance and expect everyone to have the same interests and personalities. I mean, good grief, there are only 6 people in my house and I only have about three meals that please every single one of them. Every other dinner is consumed from a grateful heart and a hungry belly, not necessarily from an enthusiasm for what’s on the table. We can’t please everyone, every time. With that in mind, when you’re at church pray and ask the Lord to direct you as to where He wants you to serve and receive in the body of believers. There is a place for you. I promise. But it can take a bit of effort in finding it.
2. Be transparent. Okay, again. I say that with caution. I’m not implying you walk into a class and air your dirty laundry (and yes, we all have dirty laundry– from the pulpit to the pew we all need a good wash cycle). What I’m trying to encourage is for you to find a group of people who are willing to walk life with you, sharing the struggles as seamlessly as the celebrations. Brandon and I have so many times, I mean SOOO many times thought and expressed, “We’re not the only ones.” Daniel and Penny’s dirty dish story may have not been a three point spiritual lesson, but it was profound for a young couple with a young family. I mean people– I’m going back to a memory over thirteen years ago. You can’t convince me that’s not profound right there! I’m so grateful for their transparency and I hope to sharpen others by my willingness to be the same.
3. Seasons change. And so will your group. This doesn’t mean we drop the relationships, it just means we get to make more. We haven’t been in the same group with Daniel and Penny for I don’t know how long, but they’ll always be in our treasure chest of special people. A motto I share frequently is, “life is about people.” We need people. We need personal connection. Allow the Lord to move you in the different seasons to make those connections He desires to work through. Now that’s not saying change all the time. Let’s be people who commit, but when we’ve grown from young married to a family with young children to raising teenagers (Lord, help us all), we need to receive from, give to and be sharpened by those who have been-there-done-that or who are doing and surviving (😉 know you’re not alone).
Alrighty. Ready. Set. Go.
Find that group waiting for you! You have something to contribute and something to receive.
I’ll meet ya back here next time to share another nugget deposited into us by our small group. It’s a good one.
Hebrews 3:6 NLT
But Christ, as the Son, is in charge of God’s entire house. And we are God’s house, if we keep our courage and remain confident in our hope in Christ.
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